Living My Best Life. It’s Possible!

IMG_20180529_040635_203

My current situation is that I am still a work in process. At this moment I am an unemployed teacher, single mom, artist, writer and frustrated member of this society. Now, see how I listed the ‘negative’ aspects of my life first? It wasn’t intentional. I just started listing who I am at this moment.

wp-image-1169741958

This is what we do. Usually, we focus on what’s wrong in our lives instead of what’s good. As humans in this modern-day life experience, our lives have been guided by: other’s expectations, societal ‘norms’ and other outside forces. Why? We GIVE these forces outside of ourselves the power to control us. How disappointing to come into this life happy and carefree, only to conform to the unhappiness around us.

Life doesn’t have to be this way. As I sit here, pondering life in the morning light of my second mother’s house, I refuse to accept a feeling of failure. Last week, I was made aware that someone, ironically a woman who shares the same birthday as me, had been giving me bad references. I’d been on a series of interviews that seemed successful but offers of employment were being rescinded. This made me angry, frustrated and disappointed. All I’ve ever wanted to do is teach but my efforts to do so seemed to be thwarted at every turn.

images (1)1609572953..jpg

For a few days I was despondent and inconsolable. I felt like a victim, which is not a very empowering way to feel. So, now, I’m taking my power back. I know what I must do and the only way to succeed is to use the tools at my disposal.

IMG_20180529_132622_987

I’ve had the best life coaches and I found many of them online. One good thing about this digital world is that information is accessible, easy to find and shareable. Over the years I’ve followed videos by: Louise Hay, Napoleon Hill, Wayne Dyer, Earl Nightingale and others. I’ve been a member of empowerment groups, personal development groups and spiritual groups. I’ve consulted shamans and sages. Been to sweats and churches. I know what to do. So now is the time to do it…and I hope that this journey will resonate with others and inspire them to do it, too.

IMG_20180528_010134_849

Self-Empowerment is a lifestyle. A choice. A state of being. I’ve been on the train so many times and got sidetracked. I’ve found that a mixture of short term and long-term goals may be the key.

For the next thirty days, I will set daily goals that put me on a path to accomplish my long-term goal. This journey is part journal, part methodology and part following my inner guidance. I’m excited about this and look forward to successfully accomplishing what I want.

Advertisements

Day Seventeen: Smile, Bitch!

My soundtrack for the day includes, “Smile Bitch” and “Tear the Roof Off the Mother”. I’m just ready to be an Indignant Negro. My money is funny, and my change is strange, but a Sista is ALIVE. I am GRATEFUL. That car accident in April could’ve been the end of me. It wasn’t. So, what the hell am I depressed for, hmm?

SMILE BITCH!


Yasssss…as the Queens say. Yass and Damn and Honey Bee!

 

I am one of those New Age types who feels like my feelings are everything. When I feel myself reveling in negative thoughts or emotions, I have to switch it up. Now some people may call that moody or flaky or even insane. I call it self-mastery and I Love It.

goodlife
Today, I’m at the gallery. I’ve made gallery days my Art Mama business days. It’s a great environment to keep my motivated and chill place to work. The Art Mama website is almost ready and I’ve been getting things done!
High Five, Myself!
Short Term Goal: Keep Livin’ My Best Life
Long Term Goal: Manifest My Desires and Prosper!

Day Sixteen: Rough Night but Whatever, Man

 

I ain’t even gonna lie. Last night was rough. My nasal allergies kept triggering long, painful sneezing spasms. The loop of things I never want to think of at 3am kept playing behind my eyes. I turned on my salt lap but turned it off again…and loneliness laid down on me like a heavy blanket. I was in a miserable state. It was a struggle.

well-damn

Then, after going back and forth trying to force myself to feel less sad, more happy, I sat up and did magic. That’s right. I put an end to all that sh*t by taking my hands and physically pushing away the negative energy from old relationships, people and things that no longer serve me. You may not believe me, but it worked. I felt better. I was even able to write down some ideas for the gallery. Not bad. A healing and a manifestation all in one, and I did it for myself.

Beautiful its complicated quotes Magic is believing in yourself if you can do that you can make

One thing I know about making changes in my life, once the declaration is made, the testing begins. So, be ready. If you are a person beginning a journey and it seems as if everything you’ve been fighting comes onto your path, don’t worry. That’s how this works. Even Jesus was tested…according to The Bible (I spent a lot of time in church with my family as a child).

blackjesus

This morning, I felt really tired…because I hadn’t had much sleep. Before the dreaded loop could begin to play in my head, I put on Wayne Dyer. Then, I played Louise Hay. They always give good advice and when I take it, I feel good. So, that’s my short-term goal for the day…to feel good. I think that’s a worthy goal.

Long Term Goal: Manifest My Desires and Live Blissfully

 

Day Fifteen: Socially Awkward But It’s All Good

Part of my journey includes learning how to get a date, or at least meet someone new. My recent awkward moment has left me a bit frustrated and confused, but I’m just chalking it all up to experience and a lesson learned.

At-first-i-was-like-and-then
What I really need to do is find a place to meet people who’re more like me, I guess. This dating thing, I’m trying to get it (pun intended) but I just don’t understand what I’m supposed to do. Self-help books say to just be myself but when I’m myself, it seems as if I run off the prospects. If I like someone and I say it, why is that a bad thing?

love quote

Anyway, part of my long-term goal is to be in a loving relationship that grows and feels good. Navigating these waters is uncomfortable but I still have faith that I will meet my person…and it will feel natural.

beverlyjenkins
Other than that, I’m doing well and excited about this journey. I think that I’m ready to be more specific in my desires. Abraham Hicks says that if being specific makes me feel bad to pull back and be more general.

bliss

So, I know that I want to be in Love with someone who loves me. We are supportive of each other and grow together. Our energies are aligned, and we can communicate naturally. As the years go by, we grow closer. Individually we are happy, and our union is a happy coming together of two energies. This is the relationship I want. I want to be Happy and cultivate a separate Happy Bond with another Happy person. That’s not too much to ask, is it?

abundantabraham
On another note, I LOVE being an exchange artist at the gallery. This has been an unfolding opportunity with so many layers of AWESOME. Yes. The Universe is supporting me in manifesting my desires. Thank You, Source!

love quote
I am learning. That’s the point, right? This journey is about learning more about myself and manifesting what I want.
Short Term Goal: Really put some thought into events I can host at the gallery.

Long Term Goal: Manifest My Dream and Smile While Doing It.

Day Fourteen: Gallery Night and I Was All Aglow

 

My first gallery show in three years was last night…and it ROCKED. My fellow exchange artist and I created a nice room, if I must say so myself. Me and Amanda have been in shows together, plus she’s an Art Mama Cancer, just like me. Although our work is very different, I feel that we complement each other’s style. Not to mention that she gave me this AWESOME, pink Marilyn Monroe t-shirt and tied my hair with rockabilly ribbon.

I met quite a few patrons of the gallery last night. It was fun to talk and socialize with people who love art for arts sake. Michael, the gallery owner, came over to tell us, the Bellini drinkers, that the sunset was beautiful, and everyone went outside to watch the sunset.  I love artists. We find beauty in the essence of things, as well as the obvious.

blood-orange-bellinis-tablefortwoblog-12

My friends, Shakera and Lynette, came to support our show. It’s pretty awesome to have friends who are down for the cause. (chuckle) We always have fun and they enjoy being social.

I’m trying to stay awake, but Bellini’s and tequila are making me want to crawl under the covers.

So, I gotta call this one, done.

Short Term Goal: Get Some Sleep and Enjoy the Happy Feelings

Long Term Goal: Manifest My Desires and Express Gratitude.

Day Eleven: After Trading Tequila for Tea

It’s afternoon and I’ve just dragged myself out of bed for the second time. I usually get up at 6:30am and drive my youngest son to the school bus stop. Why? I like to make sure he makes it to the bus stop and on the bus. It’s crazy out here in these streets. South Florida drivers leave a lot to be desired.

bad drivee

Upon my return home, I fell across my bed until…now. I recently finished pretty much all of my vitamin supplements and I think that’s why I have been so tired. I’m not a medical professional but when I was taking the vitamins, I felt energetic. Now, Sleepy Town!

bvitaminswide

Anyway, it could be the tequila. Last night, I had the bright idea to have tequila instead of tea or coffee after dinner. I brought home some pieces to work on and started working on them but since caffeine has been keeping me up, I thought to myself, “Sip some reposado. It won’t keep you up and you’ll be in a good mood.” Well, that questionable decision lead me down a road of tipsy but not productive. I ended up watching Xena reruns and making a total mess. So, I decided, “I need some tea,” and I made a pot of decaf green tea. First of all, it didn’t feel like decaf and second, I was up for hours before passing out of sheer exhaustion. I’m not placing blame anywhere…but the tequila not a lack of vitamins could’ve been the culprit last night.

Well, I’m up now and ready to go…almost. I’m still pretty tired, but sipping coffee and finishing my breakfast of semi-warm, left over spaghetti.

Short Term Goal: Get Myself Together and Get to Work.

Long Term Goal: Manifest my Dreams and Get some vitamins.

What Day is It?

Well…I’d written a brilliant litany of dynamic and epic proportions on my cell phone…but, somehow it disappeared. So, I’ll settle for this tribute to the best post in the world.

 

So, this thirty day path to enlightenment has already been an adventure. I had an epiphany while working out yesterday. It hit me like a lightning bolt and the pure power of it made me almost cry. I tried telling my best friend about it, but she fell asleep. I’m just gonna take that as a sign that some things can not be explained, only experienced. I will ponder the happenings of it within myself.

livemoment

I’ve also been drawing conclusions based on my past behavior and the lessons to be learned from things I’ve done…or questioned…or stumbled upon while walking blindly through life. Rethinking isn’t the same as regret. I’m learning to choose new perspectives. It’s been kinda exciting.

Now, it’s once again evening and I’ve had a very busy day. Cleaning out my storage space has been an ongoing process. Everything’s out. Bill is paid. It’s just that I must figure out how to decide what stays and what goes. Like I said, it’s been a process. Some things I’ve found that I used to feel were so important, I’ve let go.

My mobile film production has been unearthed and will be put to do good use shortly. All these synchronicities! Now I understand Providence. I’ve been meeting random people:  talking cinematography, shooting indie movies again and taking on new projects. Finding my equipment just seems like the cherry on the cake of my new path.

German choco cake

Time to eat it.

Short Term Goal: Organize my things…again.

Long Term Goal: Manifest My Desires and Practice with my camera.