Living My Best Life. It’s Possible!

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My current situation is that I am still a work in process. At this moment I am an unemployed teacher, single mom, artist, writer and frustrated member of this society. Now, see how I listed the ‘negative’ aspects of my life first? It wasn’t intentional. I just started listing who I am at this moment.

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This is what we do. Usually, we focus on what’s wrong in our lives instead of what’s good. As humans in this modern-day life experience, our lives have been guided by: other’s expectations, societal ‘norms’ and other outside forces. Why? We GIVE these forces outside of ourselves the power to control us. How disappointing to come into this life happy and carefree, only to conform to the unhappiness around us.

Life doesn’t have to be this way. As I sit here, pondering life in the morning light of my second mother’s house, I refuse to accept a feeling of failure. Last week, I was made aware that someone, ironically a woman who shares the same birthday as me, had been giving me bad references. I’d been on a series of interviews that seemed successful but offers of employment were being rescinded. This made me angry, frustrated and disappointed. All I’ve ever wanted to do is teach but my efforts to do so seemed to be thwarted at every turn.

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For a few days I was despondent and inconsolable. I felt like a victim, which is not a very empowering way to feel. So, now, I’m taking my power back. I know what I must do and the only way to succeed is to use the tools at my disposal.

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I’ve had the best life coaches and I found many of them online. One good thing about this digital world is that information is accessible, easy to find and shareable. Over the years I’ve followed videos by: Louise Hay, Napoleon Hill, Wayne Dyer, Earl Nightingale and others. I’ve been a member of empowerment groups, personal development groups and spiritual groups. I’ve consulted shamans and sages. Been to sweats and churches. I know what to do. So now is the time to do it…and I hope that this journey will resonate with others and inspire them to do it, too.

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Self-Empowerment is a lifestyle. A choice. A state of being. I’ve been on the train so many times and got sidetracked. I’ve found that a mixture of short term and long-term goals may be the key.

For the next thirty days, I will set daily goals that put me on a path to accomplish my long-term goal. This journey is part journal, part methodology and part following my inner guidance. I’m excited about this and look forward to successfully accomplishing what I want.

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Fun With Fifi!
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Self Possessed

Self Possessed
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Plastic World…Girl.

Enhance. Enhance. Enhance.
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Day Thirty-Something: All I Know is It’s Saturday.

Ok. Third Eye Chakra Week has been Intensely…Calm yet Weird. Like, I don’t know what’s happening kind of weird. Not in a bad way, I’ve just been in an oddly calm almost ambivalent yet curious mood. Maybe it’s because with this chakra, I’m supposed to reconciling my physical and spiritual bodies. Hmmm…like I said, all I know is it’s Saturday.

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It’d been a long time since I could remember my dreams. I’m sure it’s because a few years ago I was having apocalyptic, Mad Max type dreams that felt so real that I threw up a block. Those dreams were of me trying to find my oldest son, who was away at college, but fighting of all kinds of crazy people and situations while on this journey. Sometimes, my youngest son was with me and other times, I was alone. Fighting…everything, to save my family. I’d wake up with a start. In a panic, and truly afraid. I wanted to write off as a fear of Mr. Ako leaving for school…but, is that really what happened?

 

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How does this relate to Third Eye Chakra Week? Well, the other night I decided that for Third Eye Chakra Week I wanted to try dreaming again. I did dream…but it was another dream that made me wake up with a start. This time involving my younger son. I rescued him and some other little boys from a sexual predator. I just remember screaming at the man, “Did you have sex with my son?”, over and over before I shot him. When I shot him, I woke up with a scream on my lips…but didn’t make a sound.

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What does all of this mean? All I know is that I am not in love with these fear-based scenarios and I think that I’m supposed to face them. Apparently, in my dreams I’ve become a protector determined to save my children. Like I said, this could use some study. I shouldn’t be afraid to dream…but, this is pretty intense.

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Remember that movie, Dreamscape? That was one of my favorite movies as a kid. We had cable and whenever it came on, I was all about it. I wonder if that technology is available now. I think it would be good to get some help. Wasn’t Dennis Quaid also in Innerspace? Hmm…what does he know?

 

Day Twenty-Seven: Well, Damn Girl! Do You Ever NOT Have an Opinion?

It’s Tuesday, again. What can I say? I’ve been super busy. Heart Chakra Week just happened to be the week of Mr. Amir’s birthday, subsequent party, as well as our Date Night Paint and Sip.

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Everything was groovy, but a sister is tired! I mean so tired I couldn’t sleep last night.
But, my Throat Chakra? Oh, she’s been having a lot to say.

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So much so that I considered making today a Digital Free Day because I was ranting on social media all day yesterday. I mean just squawk, squawk, squawk! Well, I’m having a day free of social media tomorrow to celebrate Hump Day. I gotta reign this girl in!
Election time on social media has been an orgy of negativity for the past ten years or so. Everybody has such strong opinions…including me. I’ve been able to escape the trigger pit for a while, so this descent into Election Year Madness is something that kind of snuck up on me.

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So, while I’m trying to muzzle this overactive communication thing, maybe it’s best if I go into classic Cancer hermit mode. Yes. I to think that’s best. Will I remember to refrain from the Devil’s clutches? If you see me on FB, be a pal and tell me to stop. I appreciate it.

Day Twenty: Heart Chakra Could Use a Boost

It’s Tuesday and I’m still trying to muster up some Heart Chakra inspiration. I’ve eaten green food. I’m currently listening to a Heart Chakra “YAM” chants and I wore green AND pink today. Why am I not feeling the quickening that I felt last week? I think this is a sign that I need some healing or alignment in this area.

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Well, that’s the point of this journey…right? Now that I’ve found a weak link in the chain, so to speak, time to strengthen it. Now. Where to begin? I think that I started the process last full moon when I released a lot of energy and people from my heart. Maybe it’s time to fill it back up with someone special?


Who knows? Maybe healing my heart chakra and healing my heart are part of this identity I’ve created for myself. It’s hard to explain but I think it all begins with developing a brand-new outlook when it comes to love, romance and my expectations of both.

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Maybe my heart chakra healing has nothing to do with romance at all. Maybe, I’m supposed to continue working on this alignment journey in general and love of self is the romance I seek. I don’t know, that seems kind of defeatist to me.


Personally, and I’m no guru, I think that my journey is a combination of self-love and romantic love…but I’m a Cancer. That’s how I’m made. It’s a good thing to know oneself before embarking on a love journey. I don’t fight my nature anymore. In fact, I embrace it. Trying to assimilate didn’t work before so, change is due…right?

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Anyway, these musings help. I can articulate my feelings in a constructive way instead of wandering the hallways of my mind without a way to get out. Alright, Heart Chakra Week.
Let’s Get It Together.