Almost Ok Now.

“That’s why you’re on your own now! Nobody else is ever gonna put up with you the way I have!” My Ex.

I live with my ex. It is a complicated situation and usually pretty amicable…but not this morning.

I remember when I used to blame the other person for everything that went wrong in a relationship. In this situation though, I honestly try to see where I’ve been wrong and check myself. I admit to the things that are my responsibility but my ex hasn’t been able to do that yet. She sees herself as a victim of me and my will.

Her reasons for leaving the relationship range from my mood swings endangering her physical health to my apparent lack of empathy. I understand that those are her reasons and I have to respect them. I just wish that she could SEE me the way she wants me to SEE her. I try…but apparently I don’t.

Being dumped hurts. I feel that I failed this relationship. Correction. Sometimes I feel that I’ve failed but I know that isn’t true. I am  moving on but like I said, it’s complicated.

I don’t even know why I’m writing all of this. I guess I just need to vent since my ex doesn’t want to hear anything I have to say. It sucks that I can’t get her to listen to me but she expects me to listen to her. Her justification for this is that I always preach for at least half an hour and she doesn’t want to hear it. Well, I feel the same way but I’ve listened to her preach to me many times without complaint. I guess I should’ve.

Oh, well. My Gratitude Journey continues and this is Day 8. What a way to start, eh?

I am grateful. Even for this early rising discourse, I am grateful. Weird, eh?

2 thoughts on “Almost Ok Now.

  1. Chane says:

    Love! It’s hard feeling like you give so much and the receiving end is not recognizing your efforts. Even more so when you feel like they do have a point on some level, even if they are not willing to exist in that space with you, the space of mutual understanding.

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