Ok…so sometimes I’m a boi. I never realize it’s happening until I catch myself, for lack of a better way of saying it, thinkin’ like a dude. As a matter of fact, I’m being Steve right now and it took me by surprise.
Steve is me, of course. I was in an online group and someone posted the question, ” Do you name your alter egos?” At the time I hadn’t but decided to answer with the name “Steve”. It’s easy to remember so it stuck.
I should’ve known Steve would emerge sooner or later. My dudes (homies, bois, etc…whatever you call masculine female friends you’re not sleeping with) are starting to hit me up again. Some I haven’t talked to in years. I’m enjoying the energy. Even in my high femmiest attire, my real homies don’t hit on me. It’d be like hitting on your drag queen cousin. All of my boi friends are super cute. I’ve rolled around with a couple of them and that’s cool. They didn’t know I was a dude then.
I guess they know now.
A few years ago, my homie and me (lol) were sitting in a lesbian party ogling girls. She was wearing a button up and khakis. I was wearing something flowy and yellow…and lipgloss. I said something that made her turn and look me as if for the first time and say, “Damn. Crystal…you’re a dude.” I simply smiled my girliest smile and said, ” I know, right?”
Although I can be bit of a dude, I am still attracted to masculine women. I’m also attracted to feminine women. I’m fluid like that…and comfortably so. It can be confusing for those women who like a more clearly defined type but like the song goes, ” Sometimes you feel like a nut. Sometimes, You Don’t”. I’m that nut sometimes…and sometimes, I’m not .
So, ladies…I’ll get in ya. Fellas, I’ll get in ya, too…even if I’m wearing a dress when I do it. Don’t get weird about it. It’ll do ya some good to roll around in a blouse. Ya know, a feminine top. On the other hand, I do feel like bottoming out sometimes, too. It depends on my mood.
I am a Cancer after all.