Day Six: J’ouvert Must Be French for Debauchery


I have to make this quick. The Flight of the Conchords Live is coming on in a little while…and I’m stoked about it! I love Brett and Jemaine. They’re quirky boyfriends I’ve always wanted. Maybe, One day.


Speaking of Live, I went to my first J’ouvert Festival. It felt kind of like Mardi Gras but cooler and with less drunk frat boys. Some of my family members were organizers, so I ended up getting a free ticket. I didn’t know it was a morning event, so I planned to head out in the afternoon. Then, I saw some photos on Instagram around 9am, checked the ticket and it said 7am—2pm. Dang! I jumped up, got dressed and headed out.


After a traffic experience that I will not detail right now, I made it into the festival. As I was standing in line, it started to rain. Not a cute little summer shower. A full on, cold wind and heavy droplets down pour. No one seemed phased. In fact, some folks started dancing and blowing whistles. Alright then, I can go with the flow. No problem.


I’d smuggled in a small container of tequila. Don’t judge me. As I was standing under the awning of the recreation center with the other revelers, I took that sucker to the head. Like magic, the sun appeared, and the rain stopped. Awesome! Stumbling out into the mud, I joined the line of dancers, singers and DJs circling the park.

Now, I sometimes rest on bitch face, so I decided to actively smile. The more I practiced my automatic smile, the more fun I had…and that felt good. I found a truck where they filled up cups with liquor. This very nice, and quite handsome man noticed that I was having a hard time getting noticed by the bartenders. He indicated that I should hand him my cup. Within minutes, I had a full cup of vodka and Redbull. Yes, Ma’am! He even had the good grace to leave without flirting. Yay!


Ok…I’m slowing down now.

Anyway, it was a fun day. I came home completely inebriated and fell asleep. When I woke up, Flight of the Conchords was on, the series not the live show. The live show is coming on in a little while. I’m going to rock the party!


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