Day Three:  Freddie and I Enjoyed Our Day

 

This morning was beautiful. It’s always a beautiful day when I wake up to Queen. Not just any song by Queen. My favorite song by Queen, “Somebody to Love”. This song reminds me of Sunday morning church…with a twist. They sang the sh@t out of those words. Freddie? Well, let’s just say that I cried when he died. His space will never be filled. I love when he visits me in song.

I’ve been fired up with ideas for not just the gallery but Art Mama Moves as well. I took done my vision wall a few weeks ago to make room for the things I took out of storage. I didn’t think it would affect me as much as it apparently has, on a mental as well as a spiritual level. My affirmations used to be all around me. I know now that it’s time to revamp a new vision and put it up.

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This Root Chakra work has been amazing. I love that this experience has helped me grow. Not just grow, I’ve come to realize some truths that I’d been willfully overlooking. Sometimes we must let go of what we thought we wanted in order to see something even greater.

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Which leads me back to Freddie. How wonderful that as I was wrapping up my day, I turned on the radio in my truck and “Somebody to Love” was playing again. It couldn’t have been coincidence. Freddie was singing his heart out, for a love that hadn’t shown it’s face yet. I’ve cried out in that way and I feel the words every time I hear them.

I am Grateful for this healing time. I am Happy to learn how to live happily and be fulfilled. I am Thankful for Queen.

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Thank you for spending the day with me, Freddie. I love you.

 

 

Day Two: Be Aware of the Lessons aka Beware of the Lessons

The Root Chakra is the home for feelings of security, safety, home…the mundane. Well, waking up with a money issue to solve will stimulate some root chakra energy.

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I knew it was coming. Like I’ve said, I am not new to this chakra healing process. It’s like knowing there’s laundry to do…but instead, you throw it in the closet for a couple of months or even years. Then, one day, you remember the laundry and open the closet door. HOT DIGGETY D%MN. It is pungent! When you pick up that basket and the wind rustles it, just a bit, and that stank gets in your nose…whew. You may have to wash that mess more than once to get out the funk. It would’ve been easier to just do it way back when, but since you’re doing it now…Buck up, Buttercup. There’s work to be done.

That’s a pretty good analogy of what it feels like to clear, activate and align one’s chakras. The funk always wafts up your nose before the cleansing begins.


On the up side, I did come up with some ideas for gallery events. That root chakra tells me that this is an untapped market. Go get that security for us! I can’t keep living like there’s a nine to five job out there waiting for me. I’m assertive, ambitious and goal oriented. It’s time to make the doughnuts…as they say.

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Day One: Startin’ All Over Again…With the Root.

 

So, today is the first day of the second leg of my journey. I’ve decided to revamp a little and make the focus more about the healing instead of the actualization. I’m excited! It’s Root Chakra Week!

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This is what I know, and I do not, in any way, claim to be an expert. The Root Chakra is most associated, physically, with the base of the spine, blood and the skeleton. Red is its symbolic color. This chakra controls primal instincts such as survival and safety. Ginger, Rosemary, Cloves and Black Pepper are spices which stimulate the Root Chakra. Red foods such as watermelon, strawberries, beets and pomegranates are popular choices for those seeking to target healing this chakra.

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Let me back peddle a bit. I just realized that I’ve assumed everyone knows what chakras are and how they work. There are seven most widely recognized chakras: root, sacral, solar plexus, heart, throat, third eye and crown. In the chakra healing groups I’ve joined in the past, we started with the root. So, I’ve chosen to work on my base chakra first and work my way up.

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Right now? I’m eating dried cranberries out of the bag and revisiting information related to the root chakra. There’s a dark chocolate and hazelnut bar in my purse. I’ve had a few small cups of red rooibos tea and I am ready! Last night we had homemade chili and that was a  great way to start off this Root Chakra week.

Since I also had a rousing two cups of black coffee, it’s time for me to get up and hit the gym. The root chakra is also stimulated by movement. See? I’m on the right track already.

Day Twenty-Eight: This Is Gonna Take Longer Than I Thought

Actually, I am kinda unclear as to what day it is but I do know I haven’t written in two days, so I’ll just assume it’s Day Twenty-Eight. What I do know is that this path I’ve chosen seems to be taking a lot longer to walk than I thought. In the past, I’ve joined meditation groups, manifestation groups, chakra healing groups and a host of others with good results. It’s been a healing and growing experience in the past but this time deciding to go it alone is intense.

Maybe journeying with a group has a support system element that I am seriously lacking at the moment. Most of the friends I made since I’ve been in Florida have moved away or we’ve moved apart. At times, I feel rudderless and at sometimes, pervasive loneliness takes hold.

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So, how do I make this a better experience? Well, these are my thoughts.

I want to lose weight. I have gained about ten pounds of the around thirty I’d lost. After the car accident a few months back, I’ve been expanding gradually. I’m tired of gaining weight and losing confidence. I want my swag back! Ok…I’ve never really had any swag but now’s the time, right?

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Chakra aligning practices and meditation has helped in the past. I haven’t been able to meditate in months. It’s crucial to this new path to incorporate some real spiritual practice. In my opinion, a strong spiritual practice is what’s been missing in this new life I’ve been planning. Time to get aligned! My ancestors didn’t survive slavery, segregation and the GOP without prayer and self love. Time to get me some!

I am so serious  about my life and the quality of it. I have been going through the motions for too long. It’s time to get out there! It’s time to grab the reins and direct my life instead of just riding the waves. Of course, I’m pumping myself up right now. Who better to do it? What better time?

I’m rewriting the rules and making today the day that I plan the new leg of my journey. What has occurred is the preamble. Time to get real.

Today, I plan.  Beginning tomorrow, I will concentrate on my root chakra. Foods that stimulate this chakra. Meditations and frequencies to target the root chakra will be my anchor. Every week I will focus on a specific chakra. It’s worked before and I look forward adding this healing element to my journey.

So, for the next leg of this journey, let the healing begin. It’s time to bring some life to this party!

Day Twenty-Three: Back in The Saddle, Again…and It’s a Full Moon.

 

Jimi was right. Manic Depression messes with your head…even when undiagnosed.  I’m not trying to revel in yesterday’s whirlwind of crazy. Tonight is the Full Moon in Aries. I’m ready to fire up some change!

Today has been much better. I’m sitting here in my little writing nook, having a cup of chamomile tea infused with Ra’mon Seed and MCT oil. A kind lady, a sales rep but a nice lady nonetheless, rub my inflamed shoulder with CBD lotion and I feel much better. I had a required workshop at CareerSource Broward (The Unemployment Office). It was actually pretty cool and my re-employment counselors are really inspiring. In fact, they gave me a lot to think about. It’s been a strange, almost forced transition but the universe is shaking up my life routine for a reason. I’m ready to take it one day at a time now. Pray for me or if you send Love and Light, I’ll take some of that too.

I’m keeping this short because like I said, it’s a full moon. I’m going outside to take pictures and celebrate my life. Some people didn’t make it this far, and for my life, I am grateful. Maybe I’ll even howl at the moon. Is that too much? Naw…we’ll see.

 

Short Term Goal: Howl at the Moon and Enjoy the Experience

Long Term Goal: Manifest My Desires and Love the Journey of Self Discovery Along the Way

Day Twenty-One: So, I’m Getting Better at This Manifesting Thing.

So, skipping a day has become a habit…but for good reason. I had a busy day yesterday, but I can’t even remember what it was that kept me occupied. I took Amir to the school bus stop. Came home did some housework and then went to the gym. I came home and piddled around until I fell asleep while reading one of my favorite Beverly Jenkin’s novels.

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I know that I kept my mind on staying positive. Whenever I fell into negative thinking, I rerouted that train onto something that made me smile. Maybe that’s why I was so tired. All that mental rewiring is tiring!

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Today, I was busy, but it was odd. I had an interview, which I’d forgotten. Before going to the interview, I needed to do two things: go to the bank and grab some gum. The line at the bank was ridiculously long. It was so long that two men almost came to blows right in front of me.

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Apparently the first dude was irritated that the second dude was breathing on him. They began to argue. It escalated, so I said, “Why don’t you two separate so we don’t have to deal with this. I’ll stand between you, so he can’t breathe on you.” Well, they got quiet and no one volunteered to move. I went back to reading my book, but I was bothered.

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(Yes, I had enough time to read a book in the bank line. They had two tellers and the line was going out the door.) It’s just too dangerous to have the lines that long. I approached the manager and let her know, none to kindly, that if I get hit with a flying punch, I will have no recourse except to sue. She looked at me as if I’d grown a third head. I got back in line. Oh, well.

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After the bank, I headed off to my interview, but I felt as if I needed gum. Why? My mouth felt dry and my breath probably smelled like dry hate. I stopped at 711 to pick up a cheap pack of gum. After grabbing two packs of gum priced 35 cents each. The cashier said, “$1.17”. Now, I’m no math genius but I know 35 plus 35 doesn’t equal 117. I asked why the price didn’t match the label. She said, “Maybe it’s tax”. I was like, there’s no tax on food in Florida but even if there were that wouldn’t add up to an extra 47 cents. So, instead of giving her grief about it because it’s not her fault, I sent a picture of the labeled gum and my receipt to the corporate offices. Let them deal with it.


After all of that, I made it to the interview. It was kind of generic but worth it. The job pays more than teaching and I hope that it works out.
Short Term Goal: Keep Sending Out Good Energy, It’s Helping Smooth the Way. Also, Write Down What I want to Manifest.
Long Term Goal: Manifest My Dreams and Enjoy Life.

Day Nineteen: New Dawn, New Day and I’m Feeling Good…Because It’s What I Want.

 

I started writing yesterday but got sidetracked and passed out. All I know is, it was a good day. I prayed for a good day. I willed myself to have a good day. I focused on having a good day and I fell asleep happy.

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Today, I had a good day in a different sense. It was a learning day full of lessons, illustrated and played out in a way that this Cancerian can understand…sideways. This morning, I watched a tarot reading and it resonated with me. I really needed those words. I needed to hear that message. It left me with a clear perspective. I am truly traveling to new horizons and it feels good.


I went to the gallery and it started out laid back as usual. As I began to prepare to close the doors, I couldn’t find the key. It’s a single key, small and apparently easy to misplace. I turned the place upside down and couldn’t find it. I panicked, called the gallery owner and tried to fish garbage bags out of the dumpster. I’d been wearing overalls, a la Bananarama in the 80’s, that had deep pockets. I put myself through a series of half undressing and the key did not make an appearance. I went to the bathroom to change into a skirt, took of the overalls, turned them upside to begin folding…and the key fell out.
Que Lastima!

"Can you just tell me where I put my keys?"
I was so happy to find the keys that I began laughing. Laughing and Thanking the Universe that that blasted key had turned up. Talk about Gratitude! I let the gallery owner know that the key had appeared. He hadn’t gotten upset. His response was, “It happens. I’m just glad it turned up. How cool is that?

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Today reminds of something I’d seen on a movie marquee, “Everything Is Illuminated”. It is. Everything comes to light, sooner or later. A missing key. Codependent Emotional Habits. All of it. My mission now is to be more than observer of myself. I am no longer allowing myself to float on the sea of Complacency. As Cree Summer’s song says, “Savior Self”. Well, she gives good advice. I’m gonna take it.

Short Term Goal: Laugh in the Face of Adversity…and Be More Observant.
Long Term Goal: Manifest My Desires and Live Well

What Day is It?

Well…I’d written a brilliant litany of dynamic and epic proportions on my cell phone…but, somehow it disappeared. So, I’ll settle for this tribute to the best post in the world.

 

So, this thirty day path to enlightenment has already been an adventure. I had an epiphany while working out yesterday. It hit me like a lightning bolt and the pure power of it made me almost cry. I tried telling my best friend about it, but she fell asleep. I’m just gonna take that as a sign that some things can not be explained, only experienced. I will ponder the happenings of it within myself.

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I’ve also been drawing conclusions based on my past behavior and the lessons to be learned from things I’ve done…or questioned…or stumbled upon while walking blindly through life. Rethinking isn’t the same as regret. I’m learning to choose new perspectives. It’s been kinda exciting.

Now, it’s once again evening and I’ve had a very busy day. Cleaning out my storage space has been an ongoing process. Everything’s out. Bill is paid. It’s just that I must figure out how to decide what stays and what goes. Like I said, it’s been a process. Some things I’ve found that I used to feel were so important, I’ve let go.

My mobile film production has been unearthed and will be put to do good use shortly. All these synchronicities! Now I understand Providence. I’ve been meeting random people:  talking cinematography, shooting indie movies again and taking on new projects. Finding my equipment just seems like the cherry on the cake of my new path.

German choco cake

Time to eat it.

Short Term Goal: Organize my things…again.

Long Term Goal: Manifest My Desires and Practice with my camera.

Day Three: All Off the Rails…but Climbing Back On.

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Yesterday, I stood up on my soapbox and announced that I would be meditating, getting supplements and making the world a better place with my efforts.

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Well, the best laid plans…or so they say. I couldn’t find the supplements that I wanted at the store. I tried meditating but ended up on social media instead and I haven’t saved the world, yet…but I’m working on it.

Are these major defeats? No. Am I being a little dramatic? Probably, but my feeling of frustration, because I’d been able to complete those tasks, is a real reaction. For a short time, I felt that I’d failed a little. As unreasonable as that may seem, it’s part of the reason I’ve  quit this  journey in the past. The small “failures” along the way chipped away at my dedication to the task at hand.  It is fun while it’s fun but when it’s time to push forward despite obstacles, that’s the time to dig in and keep moving forward. Fear is often disguised as frustration.

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I wanted to go to a party. The weather has been really wet and rainy but by the time I got ready, the rain had stopped, and it looked like a fortuitous night for adventure. I drove to where I thought the party was being held. Wrong spot…but since I’d already paid to park, I decided to play around in my truck, taking pictures of myself making funny faces. After a bit, I drove to where I’d been directed to go and still couldn’t find the party…and then it started to rain. Well, my intention was to go out. To get dressed up and flirt a little. I did that. I even took cute pictures by streetlight. So, I accomplished my goal of going out. It just didn’t turn out to be a night of dancing the night away in a crowd of strangers. I had fun, which was also one of my goals. So, I did what I planned to do. I just did it differently than I’d planned.

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Life is like that sometimes, eh? We make plans and God laughs, I think that I read that somewhere. But, I’m laughing, too. So, today I will try again to get those supplements. I will meditate…to the best of my ability. I will enjoy this rainy Labor Day and appreciate the time with my family. This is what it means to enjoy life. It means laughing when things don’t turn out the way we want them to turn out. It means picking yourself up when the Crazy Train rolls over you. It means looking forward to a new day as a new start to a new scene in the movie of your life. I’m the Director. Action!

Day Two: One for Me, One for Another

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What I know about energy is that is an exchange. Humans exchange energy in both conscious and unconscious ways. The saying, “You Get What You Give” is simple, non-religious way to say, “You Reap What You Sow”.  By doing for others, we create a path for a positive energy flow. It makes me feel good to see someone else happy. When I’m happy, the energy of happiness gives me the will to proceed with my plans to create a new plan for myself. Sharing happiness is a powerful cure for depression and anxiety.

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My new journey includes something I like to call, “One for Me and One for Another”. Each day I do something good for someone else as well as something good for myself. For example, yesterday I was so tired from moving things out of my storage space. I mean, so tired that I could barely stand; however, I drove my truck down to a good friend’s house to take her some things she could use.

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While there, I was able to give her a ride to get groceries because she doesn’t drive. Doing this small favor for her made me feel like a helpful and true friend, plus she gave me money for gas. I needed that gas money and her giving it to me alleviated some money stress for me. This made me happy. I came home and started writing about my journey.

See? That positive exchange of energy was good for both of us. We were able to help each other by “reaping” what we’d “sown”.

Today, I will initiate another positive energy exchange. I am sure that doing so will lead me to gather more positive energy into myself. That’s a good first step.