Day Three: Freddie and I Enjoyed Our Day

 

This morning was beautiful. It’s always a beautiful day when I wake up to Queen. Not just any song by Queen. My favorite song by Queen, “Somebody to Love”. This song reminds me of Sunday morning church…with a twist. They sang the sh@t out of those words. Freddie? Well, let’s just say that I cried when he died. His space will never be filled. I love when he visits me in song.

I’ve been fired up with ideas for not just the gallery but Art Mama Moves as well. I took done my vision wall a few weeks ago to make room for the things I took out of storage. I didn’t think it would affect me as much as it apparently has, on a mental as well as a spiritual level. My affirmations used to be all around me. I know now that it’s time to revamp a new vision and put it up.

This Root Chakra work has been amazing. I love that this experience has helped me grow. Not just grow, I’ve come to realize some truths that I’d been willfully overlooking. Sometimes we must let go of what we thought we wanted in order to see something even greater.

Which leads me back to Freddie. How wonderful that as I was wrapping up my day, I turned on the radio in my truck and “Somebody to Love” was playing again. It couldn’t have been coincidence. Freddie was singing his heart out, for a love that hadn’t shown it’s face yet. I’ve cried out in that way and I feel the words every time I hear them.

I am Grateful for this healing time. I am Happy to learn how to live happily and be fulfilled. I am Thankful for Queen.

Thank you for spending the day with me, Freddie. I love you.

 

 

Day Two: Be Aware of the Lessons aka Beware of the Lessons

The Root Chakra is the home for feelings of security, safety, home…the mundane. Well, waking up with a money issue to solve will stimulate some root chakra energy.

I knew it was coming. Like I’ve said, I am not new to this chakra healing process. It’s like knowing there’s laundry to do…but instead, you throw it in the closet for a couple of months or even years. Then, one day, you remember the laundry and open the closet door. HOT DIGGETY D%MN. It is pungent! When you pick up that basket and the wind rustles it, just a bit, and that stank gets in your nose…whew. You may have to wash that mess more than once to get out the funk. It would’ve been easier to just do it way back when, but since you’re doing it now…Buck up, Buttercup. There’s work to be done.

That’s a pretty good analogy of what it feels like to clear, activate and align one’s chakras. The funk always wafts up your nose before the cleansing begins.

On the up side, I did come up with some ideas for gallery events. That root chakra tells me that this is an untapped market. Go get that security for us! I can’t keep living like there’s a nine to five job out there waiting for me. I’m assertive, ambitious and goal oriented. It’s time to make the doughnuts…as they say.

Day One: Startin’ All Over Again…With the Root.

 

So, today is the first day of the second leg of my journey. I’ve decided to revamp a little and make the focus more about the healing instead of the actualization. I’m excited! It’s Root Chakra Week!

This is what I know, and I do not, in any way, claim to be an expert. The Root Chakra is most associated, physically, with the base of the spine, blood and the skeleton. Red is its symbolic color. This chakra controls primal instincts such as survival and safety. Ginger, Rosemary, Cloves and Black Pepper are spices which stimulate the Root Chakra. Red foods such as watermelon, strawberries, beets and pomegranates are popular choices for those seeking to target healing this chakra.

Let me back peddle a bit. I just realized that I’ve assumed everyone knows what chakras are and how they work. There are seven most widely recognized chakras: root, sacral, solar plexus, heart, throat, third eye and crown. In the chakra healing groups I’ve joined in the past, we started with the root. So, I’ve chosen to work on my base chakra first and work my way up.

Right now? I’m eating dried cranberries out of the bag and revisiting information related to the root chakra. There’s a dark chocolate and hazelnut bar in my purse. I’ve had a few small cups of red rooibos tea and I am ready! Last night we had homemade chili and that was a  great way to start off this Root Chakra week.

Since I also had a rousing two cups of black coffee, it’s time for me to get up and hit the gym. The root chakra is also stimulated by movement. See? I’m on the right track already.

Day Twenty-Eight: This Is Gonna Take Longer Than I Thought

Actually, I am kinda unclear as to what day it is but I do know I haven’t written in two days, so I’ll just assume it’s Day Twenty-Eight. What I do know is that this path I’ve chosen seems to be taking a lot longer to walk than I thought. In the past, I’ve joined meditation groups, manifestation groups, chakra healing groups and a host of others with good results. It’s been a healing and growing experience in the past but this time deciding to go it alone is intense.

Maybe journeying with a group has a support system element that I am seriously lacking at the moment. Most of the friends I made since I’ve been in Florida have moved away or we’ve moved apart. At times, I feel rudderless and at sometimes, pervasive loneliness takes hold.

So, how do I make this a better experience? Well, these are my thoughts.

I want to lose weight. I have gained about ten pounds of the around thirty I’d lost. After the car accident a few months back, I’ve been expanding gradually. I’m tired of gaining weight and losing confidence. I want my swag back! Ok…I’ve never really had any swag but now’s the time, right?

Chakra aligning practices and meditation has helped in the past. I haven’t been able to meditate in months. It’s crucial to this new path to incorporate some real spiritual practice. In my opinion, a strong spiritual practice is what’s been missing in this new life I’ve been planning. Time to get aligned! My ancestors didn’t survive slavery, segregation and the GOP without prayer and self love. Time to get me some!

I am so serious  about my life and the quality of it. I have been going through the motions for too long. It’s time to get out there! It’s time to grab the reins and direct my life instead of just riding the waves. Of course, I’m pumping myself up right now. Who better to do it? What better time?

I’m rewriting the rules and making today the day that I plan the new leg of my journey. What has occurred is the preamble. Time to get real.

Today, I plan.  Beginning tomorrow, I will concentrate on my root chakra. Foods that stimulate this chakra. Meditations and frequencies to target the root chakra will be my anchor. Every week I will focus on a specific chakra. It’s worked before and I look forward adding this healing element to my journey.

So, for the next leg of this journey, let the healing begin. It’s time to bring some life to this party!

Day Twenty-Three: Back in The Saddle, Again…and It’s a Full Moon.

 

Jimi was right. Manic Depression messes with your head…even when undiagnosed.  I’m not trying to revel in yesterday’s whirlwind of crazy. Tonight is the Full Moon in Aries. I’m ready to fire up some change!

Today has been much better. I’m sitting here in my little writing nook, having a cup of chamomile tea infused with Ra’mon Seed and MCT oil. A kind lady, a sales rep but a nice lady nonetheless, rub my inflamed shoulder with CBD lotion and I feel much better. I had a required workshop at CareerSource Broward (The Unemployment Office). It was actually pretty cool and my re-employment counselors are really inspiring. In fact, they gave me a lot to think about. It’s been a strange, almost forced transition but the universe is shaking up my life routine for a reason. I’m ready to take it one day at a time now. Pray for me or if you send Love and Light, I’ll take some of that too.

I’m keeping this short because like I said, it’s a full moon. I’m going outside to take pictures and celebrate my life. Some people didn’t make it this far, and for my life, I am grateful. Maybe I’ll even howl at the moon. Is that too much? Naw…we’ll see.

 

Short Term Goal: Howl at the Moon and Enjoy the Experience

Long Term Goal: Manifest My Desires and Love the Journey of Self Discovery Along the Way

Day Twenty-One: So, I’m Getting Better at This Manifesting Thing.

So, skipping a day has become a habit…but for good reason. I had a busy day yesterday, but I can’t even remember what it was that kept me occupied. I took Amir to the school bus stop. Came home did some housework and then went to the gym. I came home and piddled around until I fell asleep while reading one of my favorite Beverly Jenkin’s novels.

I know that I kept my mind on staying positive. Whenever I fell into negative thinking, I rerouted that train onto something that made me smile. Maybe that’s why I was so tired. All that mental rewiring is tiring!

Today, I was busy, but it was odd. I had an interview, which I’d forgotten. Before going to the interview, I needed to do two things: go to the bank and grab some gum. The line at the bank was ridiculously long. It was so long that two men almost came to blows right in front of me.

Apparently the first dude was irritated that the second dude was breathing on him. They began to argue. It escalated, so I said, “Why don’t you two separate so we don’t have to deal with this. I’ll stand between you, so he can’t breathe on you.” Well, they got quiet and no one volunteered to move. I went back to reading my book, but I was bothered.

(Yes, I had enough time to read a book in the bank line. They had two tellers and the line was going out the door.) It’s just too dangerous to have the lines that long. I approached the manager and let her know, none to kindly, that if I get hit with a flying punch, I will have no recourse except to sue. She looked at me as if I’d grown a third head. I got back in line. Oh, well.

After the bank, I headed off to my interview, but I felt as if I needed gum. Why? My mouth felt dry and my breath probably smelled like dry hate. I stopped at 711 to pick up a cheap pack of gum. After grabbing two packs of gum priced 35 cents each. The cashier said, “$1.17”. Now, I’m no math genius but I know 35 plus 35 doesn’t equal 117. I asked why the price didn’t match the label. She said, “Maybe it’s tax”. I was like, there’s no tax on food in Florida but even if there were that wouldn’t add up to an extra 47 cents. So, instead of giving her grief about it because it’s not her fault, I sent a picture of the labeled gum and my receipt to the corporate offices. Let them deal with it.

After all of that, I made it to the interview. It was kind of generic but worth it. The job pays more than teaching and I hope that it works out.
Short Term Goal: Keep Sending Out Good Energy, It’s Helping Smooth the Way. Also, Write Down What I want to Manifest.
Long Term Goal: Manifest My Dreams and Enjoy Life.

Day Nineteen: New Dawn, New Day and I’m Feeling Good…Because It’s What I Want.

 

I started writing yesterday but got sidetracked and passed out. All I know is, it was a good day. I prayed for a good day. I willed myself to have a good day. I focused on having a good day and I fell asleep happy.

Today, I had a good day in a different sense. It was a learning day full of lessons, illustrated and played out in a way that this Cancerian can understand…sideways. This morning, I watched a tarot reading and it resonated with me. I really needed those words. I needed to hear that message. It left me with a clear perspective. I am truly traveling to new horizons and it feels good.

I went to the gallery and it started out laid back as usual. As I began to prepare to close the doors, I couldn’t find the key. It’s a single key, small and apparently easy to misplace. I turned the place upside down and couldn’t find it. I panicked, called the gallery owner and tried to fish garbage bags out of the dumpster. I’d been wearing overalls, a la Bananarama in the 80’s, that had deep pockets. I put myself through a series of half undressing and the key did not make an appearance. I went to the bathroom to change into a skirt, took of the overalls, turned them upside to begin folding…and the key fell out.
Que Lastima!

I was so happy to find the keys that I began laughing. Laughing and Thanking the Universe that that blasted key had turned up. Talk about Gratitude! I let the gallery owner know that the key had appeared. He hadn’t gotten upset. His response was, “It happens. I’m just glad it turned up. How cool is that?

Today reminds of something I’d seen on a movie marquee, “Everything Is Illuminated”. It is. Everything comes to light, sooner or later. A missing key. Codependent Emotional Habits. All of it. My mission now is to be more than observer of myself. I am no longer allowing myself to float on the sea of Complacency. As Cree Summer’s song says, “Savior Self”. Well, she gives good advice. I’m gonna take it.

Short Term Goal: Laugh in the Face of Adversity…and Be More Observant.
Long Term Goal: Manifest My Desires and Live Well

Day Seventeen: Smile, Bitch!

My soundtrack for the day includes, “Smile Bitch” and “Tear the Roof Off the Mother”. I’m just ready to be an Indignant Negro. My money is funny, and my change is strange, but a Sista is ALIVE. I am GRATEFUL. That car accident in April could’ve been the end of me. It wasn’t. So, what the hell am I depressed for, hmm?

SMILE BITCH!

Yasssss…as the Queens say. Yass and Damn and Honey Bee!

 

I am one of those New Age types who feels like my feelings are everything. When I feel myself reveling in negative thoughts or emotions, I have to switch it up. Now some people may call that moody or flaky or even insane. I call it self-mastery and I Love It.

Today, I’m at the gallery. I’ve made gallery days my Art Mama business days. It’s a great environment to keep my motivated and chill place to work. The Art Mama website is almost ready and I’ve been getting things done!
High Five, Myself!
Short Term Goal: Keep Livin’ My Best Life
Long Term Goal: Manifest My Desires and Prosper!

Day Fourteen: Gallery Night and I Was All Aglow

 

My first gallery show in three years was last night…and it ROCKED. My fellow exchange artist and I created a nice room, if I must say so myself. Me and Amanda have been in shows together, plus she’s an Art Mama Cancer, just like me. Although our work is very different, I feel that we complement each other’s style. Not to mention that she gave me this AWESOME, pink Marilyn Monroe t-shirt and tied my hair with rockabilly ribbon.

I met quite a few patrons of the gallery last night. It was fun to talk and socialize with people who love art for arts sake. Michael, the gallery owner, came over to tell us, the Bellini drinkers, that the sunset was beautiful, and everyone went outside to watch the sunset.  I love artists. We find beauty in the essence of things, as well as the obvious.

My friends, Shakera and Lynette, came to support our show. It’s pretty awesome to have friends who are down for the cause. (chuckle) We always have fun and they enjoy being social.

I’m trying to stay awake, but Bellini’s and tequila are making me want to crawl under the covers.

So, I gotta call this one, done.

Short Term Goal: Get Some Sleep and Enjoy the Happy Feelings

Long Term Goal: Manifest My Desires and Express Gratitude.

Day Eight: Not So Silent Lucidity

 

Atlas Shrugged. Someone once told me that there’s a whole conspiracy behind the Ayn Rand Society and Nazi stuff. Well, I didn’t care enough to research that info, but I do recall being a little disappointed. Up until hearing that, I’d been fighting my way through a copy of Atlas Shrugged that was donated to my class. It seemed intriguingly akin to George Orwell’s 1984…but, I hadn’t gotten too far into the book to form any other opinions or correlations. The negative influence of what I’d heard about Ayn Rand affected me. It made me lose interest in reading more of the book. The association with “Nazi Stuff”, real or imagined, was so abhorrent to me that I couldn’t bring myself to continue. Why?

I’ve done that many times over the course of my life. Accepted information without question and let it influence my opinion of something I’d been, up until then, curious about or interested in. I’m not the only one but I am able to change this habit. Blind acceptance is a little like fear. It keeps us from going down unknown streets or exploring divergent thoughts. If ignorance is bliss, why aren’t we happier? I think that one of my long-term goals is to operate without fear. To question everything that I’m told, and form opinions based on facts that I glean from the world around me. I am not a sheep or a lemming. It is time to stop behaving like one.

As for today’s short-term goal, I have accomplished one so far. I’ve typed up today’s journal entry and put on my painter’s clothes to prepare for next week’s Gallery Night. I’m excited to show a combination of new and old pieces. Still narrowing down the pieces for the collection and putting the finishing touches on some newer ones.
I have more energy today, but I think it’s time for me to get out into the sunshine. Yes. I think that’s my other short-term goal. Go get some sun. Yes. After all, I do live in the Sunshine State.
Later the same day…
I went to the park and had a paint date with myself by the river. It was kind of a Zen moment although there were lots of people around. Everyone was nice but respectful of each other’s space. I had fun. There were iguanas sunning themselves in the semi tall grass and I made friends with a duck, even though I didn’t have any food to give him. I think the duck was a him. Felt masculine…anyway. The outdoor air was good for me. The sun was going down, but I didn’t mind. I was enjoying the time with Mother.
Short term goal accomplished.