Day Seven: Honey, Day Six is a Blur!


Yesterday I was so busy. Busy and Tired. Just runnin’ around like a chicken with the head chopped off. My day started with Mommy Duty and ended with Mommy Pass out. I can’t even get into it. I was at the: gallery, car dealership, open house for my highschool kid and a few stops in between. I made it, though. Fell asleep watching Xena by the glow of my Himalayan Pink Salt Lamp.


Today started with promise. I had so many grand plans! But you know what they say about the best laid plans…yep. The youngest Jabari needed to be picked up from the school clinic. He’s fine. Thank Goodness! I fell down on my bed and fell asleep for almost three hours. Upon waking, I went to the gym. It’s my habit to work out when I need to burn off excess energy or emotion. Sometimes I work out to clear my mind and I’ll take a few quick meditation breaks in the middle of yoga stretching.


So, now I’ve settled in for the evening. It’s been an exhausting couple of days but I’ve survived them. My short-term goal is to allow myself to relax and take it easy tonight. Long Term Goal: Manifest my Desires. That’s always the goal. To be receptive and open to my new blessings.


Tomorrow I’ll go back to the first two days of this journey, just to make sure I’m still on track. Tonight? Time to retire for the evening. G’night!

Day Three: All Off the Rails…but Climbing Back On.


Yesterday, I stood up on my soapbox and announced that I would be meditating, getting supplements and making the world a better place with my efforts.


Well, the best laid plans…or so they say. I couldn’t find the supplements that I wanted at the store. I tried meditating but ended up on social media instead and I haven’t saved the world, yet…but I’m working on it.

Are these major defeats? No. Am I being a little dramatic? Probably, but my feeling of frustration, because I’d been able to complete those tasks, is a real reaction. For a short time, I felt that I’d failed a little. As unreasonable as that may seem, it’s part of the reason I’ve  quit this  journey in the past. The small “failures” along the way chipped away at my dedication to the task at hand.  It is fun while it’s fun but when it’s time to push forward despite obstacles, that’s the time to dig in and keep moving forward. Fear is often disguised as frustration.


I wanted to go to a party. The weather has been really wet and rainy but by the time I got ready, the rain had stopped, and it looked like a fortuitous night for adventure. I drove to where I thought the party was being held. Wrong spot…but since I’d already paid to park, I decided to play around in my truck, taking pictures of myself making funny faces. After a bit, I drove to where I’d been directed to go and still couldn’t find the party…and then it started to rain. Well, my intention was to go out. To get dressed up and flirt a little. I did that. I even took cute pictures by streetlight. So, I accomplished my goal of going out. It just didn’t turn out to be a night of dancing the night away in a crowd of strangers. I had fun, which was also one of my goals. So, I did what I planned to do. I just did it differently than I’d planned.


Life is like that sometimes, eh? We make plans and God laughs, I think that I read that somewhere. But, I’m laughing, too. So, today I will try again to get those supplements. I will meditate…to the best of my ability. I will enjoy this rainy Labor Day and appreciate the time with my family. This is what it means to enjoy life. It means laughing when things don’t turn out the way we want them to turn out. It means picking yourself up when the Crazy Train rolls over you. It means looking forward to a new day as a new start to a new scene in the movie of your life. I’m the Director. Action!

Day Two: One for Me, One for Another



What I know about energy is that is an exchange. Humans exchange energy in both conscious and unconscious ways. The saying, “You Get What You Give” is simple, non-religious way to say, “You Reap What You Sow”.  By doing for others, we create a path for a positive energy flow. It makes me feel good to see someone else happy. When I’m happy, the energy of happiness gives me the will to proceed with my plans to create a new plan for myself. Sharing happiness is a powerful cure for depression and anxiety.

science energy exchange

My new journey includes something I like to call, “One for Me and One for Another”. Each day I do something good for someone else as well as something good for myself. For example, yesterday I was so tired from moving things out of my storage space. I mean, so tired that I could barely stand; however, I drove my truck down to a good friend’s house to take her some things she could use.


While there, I was able to give her a ride to get groceries because she doesn’t drive. Doing this small favor for her made me feel like a helpful and true friend, plus she gave me money for gas. I needed that gas money and her giving it to me alleviated some money stress for me. This made me happy. I came home and started writing about my journey.

See? That positive exchange of energy was good for both of us. We were able to help each other by “reaping” what we’d “sown”.

Today, I will initiate another positive energy exchange. I am sure that doing so will lead me to gather more positive energy into myself. That’s a good first step.



Today is the first day of my journey. What do I want to manifest? What areas of my life do I feel could use some attention. Most people want at least one of three things: love, money and good health. I must admit that I am one of the majority, in this instance. These are pretty, general topics and general can be good, especially if getting specific stirs up negative emotions. According to Abraham Hicks, feeling good is the catalyst to creation. That makes sense to me. Feeling Good…well, feels good. So, if thinking of specific needs and wants in love bring up painful emotions, try getting more general. For example, it somehow feels better to say, “I want Love, Joy and Fulfilment in every aspect of my Life” than to make a list of Must Haves, Negotiables and No Ways. Making lists always left me itemizing things that either dredged up bad memories or created a fantasy that felt unattainable.  I’ve decided that my first general affirmation is this: “Dear Me. I deserve all good things in life and I want: Love, Joy and Fulfillment in every aspect of my Life.”


`              I’ve decided that for this spirit quest, I am strengthening myself in all areas: physically, mentally and spiritually. Getting exercise and being mindful of what I eat is the cornerstone of physical health. But, over the years, I’ve learned that supplements such as multivitamins also help. There are supplements like 5-htp, Etherium Gold or Black and Vitamin D that support mental as well as physical health. Like many people, I have struggled with negative body image, low self esteem and self-degrading language. My new lifestyle of Feeling Good means that I avoid saying or thinking bad things about myself. I promise to look at myself and say, “I am someone’s Dream Girl” instead of saying, “I’m fat” or “Why can’t I be sexy like her?” Self-Love is not just a catch phrase. It’s a lifestyle and takes practice. So, say good things to yourself. Take care of your health. Love the skin you’re in. I say these things to myself and I’m here to testify that I feel happier. Isn’t it better to be happy?


So, on my list for tomorrow: go to the store and get some supplements, work out at the gym and meditate for fifteen minutes…at least.  I know what I want now, at least in general, and I’m reaching out to grab it.


Living My Best Life. It’s Possible!


My current situation is that I am still a work in process. At this moment I am an unemployed teacher, single mom, artist, writer and frustrated member of this society. Now, see how I listed the ‘negative’ aspects of my life first? It wasn’t intentional. I just started listing who I am at this moment.


This is what we do. Usually, we focus on what’s wrong in our lives instead of what’s good. As humans in this modern-day life experience, our lives have been guided by: other’s expectations, societal ‘norms’ and other outside forces. Why? We GIVE these forces outside of ourselves the power to control us. How disappointing to come into this life happy and carefree, only to conform to the unhappiness around us.

Life doesn’t have to be this way. As I sit here, pondering life in the morning light of my second mother’s house, I refuse to accept a feeling of failure. Last week, I was made aware that someone, ironically a woman who shares the same birthday as me, had been giving me bad references. I’d been on a series of interviews that seemed successful but offers of employment were being rescinded. This made me angry, frustrated and disappointed. All I’ve ever wanted to do is teach but my efforts to do so seemed to be thwarted at every turn.

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For a few days I was despondent and inconsolable. I felt like a victim, which is not a very empowering way to feel. So, now, I’m taking my power back. I know what I must do and the only way to succeed is to use the tools at my disposal.


I’ve had the best life coaches and I found many of them online. One good thing about this digital world is that information is accessible, easy to find and shareable. Over the years I’ve followed videos by: Louise Hay, Napoleon Hill, Wayne Dyer, Earl Nightingale and others. I’ve been a member of empowerment groups, personal development groups and spiritual groups. I’ve consulted shamans and sages. Been to sweats and churches. I know what to do. So now is the time to do it…and I hope that this journey will resonate with others and inspire them to do it, too.


Self-Empowerment is a lifestyle. A choice. A state of being. I’ve been on the train so many times and got sidetracked. I’ve found that a mixture of short term and long-term goals may be the key.

For the next thirty days, I will set daily goals that put me on a path to accomplish my long-term goal. This journey is part journal, part methodology and part following my inner guidance. I’m excited about this and look forward to successfully accomplishing what I want.

Hip Hop Strokes : Reni Candelier Paints A Picture.

The Sun rises and sets each day. We all know and accept this fact without question. Most people  view poverty or oppression the same way. We know it happens. We never ask why and we never consider the implications of a world without it.

If you’ve ever experienced poverty, the impact of a world without ‘thing’s colors your life. It seeps over into everything you do. You grow accustomed to having very little and struggling for every crumb. Even if your poverty experience was only temporary, the effects are never truly forgotten.

Rene Candelier is an artist who has known both deep poverty as well as great wealth. Her father was able to bring his family into a better financial situation but still wanted them to stay grounded and appreciate their position in life.

“I remember going to poor schools and riding the bus even though at one point we had money. My father wanted us to know his poverty.”

Art was a way to express her reaction to such a strange polarity. “At the age of fifteen I was accepted in a technical academy for art (ITESA). ITESA helped me develop and grow a lot of the skills I have today.” (, 2013)

” I know that I have something to bring to the world…and I want to do that being real.”

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Reni has lived in poverty. She’s also lived in luxury. As a teenager watching Will Smith in  The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, she’d found someone whose experiences paralleled hers.
“I love his funk…and he never changed. He was walkin’ around being really cool and naive to this rich world that was stupid to him.  Throughout the whole show he never changed. He stayed true to himself.”

Will Smith opened her eyes to a world in which she found inspiration. The soundtrack of that world was Hip Hop. Reni is a child of the music and it’s culture.  She, like it, is bold and unapologetic. Her interpretation of the world is at once grimy and refined. Hip Hop teaches as well as taunts. It inspires as well insults.

“If I give you advice,” she says, “Don’t take it.”  Isn’t that what many of us have learned from Hip Hop?

If given a chance to meet any artist in history, alive or otherwise, Reni chose Keith Haring. I can see that. I can see his influence in so many of her pieces.

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Reni’s immersion and appreciation of  1980’s Pop Culture and Art is impressive considering she’s 24 years old. The amount of work she’s produced at such a young age  is phenomenal. Although born in the Dominican Republic, her grasp of artists from the US and her respect for their contributions is obvious.

As a photographer, she explores themes of fashion, politics, music and everything in between. Quirky with soft edges in some places and defiantly square jawed in others, Reni’s images express her many influences. Cindy Sherman is one she cites as a major influence.

Much like Cindy Sherman, Reni likes to present her work in themes. She is currently exploring the ideas of  home and family in the places people live.

“My new work…Most of it was done in houses. I honestly go into peoples homes. I respect their rules.”


“This is MASS District. Every city has it’s Art Scene…and Honestly, I’ve found mine here.”

I, for one, am glad that Reni has made MASS District and Fort Lauderdale in general, her art home. Her voice is loud and raucous and much needed in a world consumed with fake reality and lukewarm passion. As artist- in residence at Dekkkgon, her work is on display in print, on canvas and in mural form.

Check for more on Reni online at, Instagram or Tumblr.

She Crab Soup

I was in the quaqmire of emotion this morning.  Then I spotted an Abraham Hicks video that a friend posted on Facebook. I’d heard of Abraham Hicks but never read or heard anything for myself. Imagine my surprise when a woman’s voice began speaking to me.

The video talked about reality and our need to shift focus in order to attract what we want. It resonated with me. I am now a fan.

I retract my statements from earlier this morning. My focus is shifted and I am raising my vibration.

Stepping forward into my destiny. Seeing isn’t always believing. Thank You Abraham Hicks.

Something I like to listen to while working or meditating.

Solfeggio Master Frequency

I am my own project. Meaning that as I grow in my spiritual journey, my mundane experiences are exhibiting more maturity. This concept really only resonates with us free thinkers but…I feel that it’s true.

Since my sex fast a few months ago, many of the sources of entertainment I sought just don’t interest me anymore. That fast set me on a journey of exploration which lead me to healing frequencies.

I tried one about three months ago. I’d had a really irritating headache for several hours but didn’t want to take more OTC drugs. I was trolling the internet for natural remedies to headaches when a bunch of Youtube videos for headache healing frequencies popped up. I picked one…and have been in love with binaurals ever since.

The Secret…as I see it.

“Embrace the Knowledge that everything I ask for I will receive.”

This morning I woke up with a new fire burning within in me. I needed to break some bad habits but I was struggling with method and intergration of change into my life. This new desire to find a guide or a signal spurred me to read through my journal to see if I could stumble onto a clue. I did. I found a clue.

I found the quote above in my journal. It was nestled amidst a stream of mantras I’d written for myself. Mantras I obviously forgot because they’d gone ignored while I continued to wander confused. But the words, “Embrace the knowledge that everything I ask for I will receive” seemed to leap from the page and into my spirit.

I realized that reason I don’t receive the things I want is because I don’t ask. I have been timid and shy when it comes to putting myself first. This had to stop! I am worthy of all that I desire. I need to be forthcoming with The Universe. It’s up to me to say exactly what I want and expect to get it. It’s also my responsibility to KNOW what I want when I ask. That requires getting in touch with myself like I’m a new lover. I  want to impress myself. I manifest my best to myself. This is self love and I love me some ME.

I’m coming up with my list of wants right now.

What’s on your list?

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