Day Three: All Off the Rails…but Climbing Back On.

Yesterday, I stood up on my soapbox and announced that I would be meditating, getting supplements and making the world a better place with my efforts.

Well, the best laid plans…or so they say. I couldn’t find the supplements that I wanted at the store. I tried meditating but ended up on social media instead and I haven’t saved the world, yet…but I’m working on it.

Are these major defeats? No. Am I being a little dramatic? Probably, but my feeling of frustration, because I’d been able to complete those tasks, is a real reaction. For a short time, I felt that I’d failed a little. As unreasonable as that may seem, it’s part of the reason I’ve  quit this  journey in the past. The small “failures” along the way chipped away at my dedication to the task at hand.  It is fun while it’s fun but when it’s time to push forward despite obstacles, that’s the time to dig in and keep moving forward. Fear is often disguised as frustration.

I wanted to go to a party. The weather has been really wet and rainy but by the time I got ready, the rain had stopped, and it looked like a fortuitous night for adventure. I drove to where I thought the party was being held. Wrong spot…but since I’d already paid to park, I decided to play around in my truck, taking pictures of myself making funny faces. After a bit, I drove to where I’d been directed to go and still couldn’t find the party…and then it started to rain. Well, my intention was to go out. To get dressed up and flirt a little. I did that. I even took cute pictures by streetlight. So, I accomplished my goal of going out. It just didn’t turn out to be a night of dancing the night away in a crowd of strangers. I had fun, which was also one of my goals. So, I did what I planned to do. I just did it differently than I’d planned.

Life is like that sometimes, eh? We make plans and God laughs, I think that I read that somewhere. But, I’m laughing, too. So, today I will try again to get those supplements. I will meditate…to the best of my ability. I will enjoy this rainy Labor Day and appreciate the time with my family. This is what it means to enjoy life. It means laughing when things don’t turn out the way we want them to turn out. It means picking yourself up when the Crazy Train rolls over you. It means looking forward to a new day as a new start to a new scene in the movie of your life. I’m the Director. Action!

Living My Best Life. It’s Possible!

My current situation is that I am still a work in process. At this moment I am an unemployed teacher, single mom, artist, writer and frustrated member of this society. Now, see how I listed the ‘negative’ aspects of my life first? It wasn’t intentional. I just started listing who I am at this moment.

This is what we do. Usually, we focus on what’s wrong in our lives instead of what’s good. As humans in this modern-day life experience, our lives have been guided by: other’s expectations, societal ‘norms’ and other outside forces. Why? We GIVE these forces outside of ourselves the power to control us. How disappointing to come into this life happy and carefree, only to conform to the unhappiness around us.

Life doesn’t have to be this way. As I sit here, pondering life in the morning light of my second mother’s house, I refuse to accept a feeling of failure. Last week, I was made aware that someone, ironically a woman who shares the same birthday as me, had been giving me bad references. I’d been on a series of interviews that seemed successful but offers of employment were being rescinded. This made me angry, frustrated and disappointed. All I’ve ever wanted to do is teach but my efforts to do so seemed to be thwarted at every turn.

For a few days I was despondent and inconsolable. I felt like a victim, which is not a very empowering way to feel. So, now, I’m taking my power back. I know what I must do and the only way to succeed is to use the tools at my disposal.

I’ve had the best life coaches and I found many of them online. One good thing about this digital world is that information is accessible, easy to find and shareable. Over the years I’ve followed videos by: Louise Hay, Napoleon Hill, Wayne Dyer, Earl Nightingale and others. I’ve been a member of empowerment groups, personal development groups and spiritual groups. I’ve consulted shamans and sages. Been to sweats and churches. I know what to do. So now is the time to do it…and I hope that this journey will resonate with others and inspire them to do it, too.

Self-Empowerment is a lifestyle. A choice. A state of being. I’ve been on the train so many times and got sidetracked. I’ve found that a mixture of short term and long-term goals may be the key.

For the next thirty days, I will set daily goals that put me on a path to accomplish my long-term goal. This journey is part journal, part methodology and part following my inner guidance. I’m excited about this and look forward to successfully accomplishing what I want.

The Secret…as I see it.

“Embrace the Knowledge that everything I ask for I will receive.”

This morning I woke up with a new fire burning within in me. I needed to break some bad habits but I was struggling with method and intergration of change into my life. This new desire to find a guide or a signal spurred me to read through my journal to see if I could stumble onto a clue. I did. I found a clue.

I found the quote above in my journal. It was nestled amidst a stream of mantras I’d written for myself. Mantras I obviously forgot because they’d gone ignored while I continued to wander confused. But the words, “Embrace the knowledge that everything I ask for I will receive” seemed to leap from the page and into my spirit.

I realized that reason I don’t receive the things I want is because I don’t ask. I have been timid and shy when it comes to putting myself first. This had to stop! I am worthy of all that I desire. I need to be forthcoming with The Universe. It’s up to me to say exactly what I want and expect to get it. It’s also my responsibility to KNOW what I want when I ask. That requires getting in touch with myself like I’m a new lover. I  want to impress myself. I manifest my best to myself. This is self love and I love me some ME.

I’m coming up with my list of wants right now.

What’s on your list?

This slideshow requires JavaScript.