What if the Toxic Person is me?

My Instagram feed is full of uplifting, empowering messages. I love sharing and being fed a steady diet of affirmations is Excellent food for the soul.

I’ve seen the words, “What if the Toxic Person is you?” a few times over the years. Yesterday, though, those words set up shop in my head and I’ve pondering them…a lot.

In my general life, I feel like a positive person. Someone who avoids drama and really prefers simplicity. Honesty and logical resolutions to obvious issues; however, I am CERTAIN that at least one person who knows will be thinking, “Is this heifer deluded? She’s a Hot Mess!”.

I get it though…and I’m ok with it. Sometimes, I am a Hot Mess.

Specifically, and referring back to me examining personal toxicity, could I be the toxic person in situations? Yes. I realize that it is my nature to be non-conformist. In settings where conformity is expected, I struggled. The level of discomfort and frustration I’ve experienced in my interactions with co-workers, leaders and gate keepers has lead me to believe that me attempting to immerse myself in activities or jobs that don’t suit me, is toxic. I ripple the pond and call attention to myself without even knowing or wanting it.

The toxicity effects me emotionally and physically. Stress, anxiety, insomnia, fatigue…the rollercoaster of being ostracized and misunderstood is exhausting.

So, how can Toxic Energy be healed? Well, for me? I find cool affirmations and tidbits online. Follow thoughts that make happy. Energy work is my way of coping but healing is a must.