Silent (R)evolution.

It’s after 2am on a Thursday morning and my mind is racing. My horoscopes tell me not to worry. The energy of the universe is ripe with conflict, confusion and discord, they say. After consulting the oracle, the message I recieved is to veer away from giving my power away by blaming others. I’m getting the feeling that it’s all about me being strong. Being focused on my own power. I hear you, Universe…but I need a little comfort food for my soul.

My birthday message was to Stay True And Be In Your Power. I have taken that to heart but what does it mean? I ask now because I have once again found myself at a crossroads. I am in need of healing. My immediate need is to discover how to heal.

There is a point in every persons life when she must widen her gaze and stop succumbing to patterns which no longer serve her. It was around this time last year that I had to exercise Faith and Spiritual Diligence. Why has this combination of issues reared its head again? Why am I facing problems I thought were solved in the  past?

I think that the problem isn’t in the why. I’m not even sure that there is a problem. I could just be dealing with the malaise of my generation but here’s what I’m doing about it.

I center myself spiritually. Admittedly I have had moments of self pity and tearful rantings against the injustices heaped upon me. Crying supplies some relief but change doesn’t begin with simple release. I pray. I meditate.

I accept that I am a spirit being experiencing life as a human and that being human comes with its challenges. I know myself more than ever so, why has it been so tough these past few days? The ups and downs have been so drastic, do I dare say it, time for a revolution.

A spiritual revolution, to be more exact. It’s time to rekindle the fire beneath my feet. I need results. I demand a change within. Apathy has gotten me nowhere. I challenge myself to use the tools available to me to strike at the heart of terror, even if those tools seem as small as a hammer in the face of a tank.

What are my weapons?

Self Love. Meditation. Showering myself with positive affirmations. Prayer. Moments of solitude. Paying attention to my emotions, aside from my reaction to others. My Definite Purpose. Self Motivation. These are my non-lethal weapons.

Now that I’ve written all of this down, I feel much more centered. Release is also an under used tool in my arsenal. The energy of this time is intense. Maybe it’s time to go back to my daily writing habit. I’ve missed it and writing is my favorite way to vent the angst build up within.

Let the Revolution begin!

But…after the fight, what then? When the fire cools, how do I prevent falling into the same traps? That’s when the revolution becomes evolution. It’s at that time I need to rebuild and recover. The battle is the easiest part. The preventing future battles is The Great Work. How do I do this?

Well, stepping out on Faith is the beginning. The same tools for the battle work. Maintaining a positive energy field around and within me is where I begin. More affirmations, more positivity and prayer is necessary to keep this field steady. More self work and self love.

I will grow and change. Become someone new and improved because survival of the fittest is real. Although I must fight, I must conquer my fears as well. It’s imperative that I become a Highly Evolved Spirit Being, for my own sake.