New Jersey Dream…lol.

I had the weirdest, funny dream last night…well, this morning.

I was in bed with my huge, Lou Ferrigno type boyfriend. Don’t ask me why. I’ve never dated a bodybuilder or an Italian …and currently, I don’t even date guys. Go figure.

I had the weirdest, funny dream last night…well, this morning.

I was in bed with my huge, Lou Ferrigno type boyfriend. Don’t ask me why. I’ve never dated a bodybuilder or an Italian …and currently, I don’t even date guys. Go figure.

kob_ferrigno_lou (3)

So anyway, we’re gettin’ kinda frisky but I have a charity thing to go to in a few.  So, I promise to be back as soon as I can to finish what we’d started. Meaning have sex.

Well, in the dream, I come in for a lunch break figuring he’d be there and we could have some afternoon delight. When I get there, he’s all tired and makes a few excuses. Muscle man has lost the need to get it on. I was confused because he usually likes a little surprise sex.

Now, his ex is one of the girls working this charity with me. We’re taking this group of inner city girls to buy custom made dolls at an American Girl store. Like I said this is a dream. lol.

So the ex and I are kinda cool. Since the afternoon flaccid bologna confused me and since she was there, I started talking to her about it.

Now let me describe her. Extremely tan, like orangey tan, with bleached blonde hair. She’s kind of short and square. Not very attractive in my book and certainly no competition for me. In this dream, I had loads of self-confidence. I never saw myself but I’m sure I looked pretty much the same as I do now. The Ex didn’t even have a name in my dream. She’s just some New Jersey Shore type chick…I guess. I never watched the show but I’ve seen the clips.

Anyway, so she very calmly says that she’d gone over to our condo and I’d already left. He was horny. She gave him a hand job. Her logic was that it was a favor.

It took me a while to fully understand what’d happened because the way she’d said it was so…blasé. You did me a favor by jackin’ off my boyfriend? Hmm…In the immortal words of some ghetto poet, “Where dey do dat at?” I was cool, though. In the dream, I was a little more…cool. But as I was talking to little girls and looking at the dolls, I had an epiphany. I made an announcement that they could choose any non-blonde doll the wanted. The sales clerk and all of the other customers looked at me like I’d just grown another head. That’s right ladies, any doll of color so you better run to the back and stock up these shelves because you’re about to sell out of ethnic dolls.

Now, the real life trashy doll comes over to me. “What are you doing?” she says.  “My boyfriend’s about to buy up every colored doll in this store, honey and I really don’t want to see your ugly, Treasure Troll face so, can you stand back?”  Have you seen that movie “Gone in Sixty Seconds”, well she was red faced in fifteen.

Sexy troll

Right before I woke up laughing, I saw a picture of me in the center of a group of happy, little girls holding dolls and loving me. I felt like Santa Claus…but the Phyllicia Rashad version.

Mrs Claus

It was great.  Maybe drinking a glass of Sauvignon Blanc before bed does this to a girl.  Anyway…

Happy Sunday Rising…lol.

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